Red Ruby Restaurant

A truly exceptional experience. A divine meal collected from a shabby yet inviting premises. Red Ruby is equipped with these short, wonderful otherworldly employees, which hold a loose yet well spirited grasp of the English language in a rather amusing way. To call this establishment the takeaway restaurant of the century, a utopian dreamland filled with unicorns and young canines which frolic about in rainbows and sugary treats, would be an utter understatement. The sad looking Asian lady who faces the company, who looked as though she may be troubled with some deeply rooted domestic emotional quarrels, greeted me with a half smile and insisted that I remove my shoes upon entry, so she could quite literally "knock my socks off" with these heavenly divine dishes of traditional cuisine. The aforementioned footwear were removed so rapidly from my feet that the cool sea breeze was a shock to my delicate senses. "Never fear" Shouted the Asian lady in a soft, maniacal voice. "This roast pork with plum sauce will warm your feet, as it shall warm your heart." So as the Asian mistress erotically bathed my feet in her expertly prepared plum sauce, I thought of the meaning of my existence, my senses were re-awoken and my heart was on fire. This magical place of tantalizing taste and of curious yet enlightening experiences should be visited by every serious food lover on this planet. An elderly Asian man offered to take my cravat while also offering me a tall glass of champagne. In conclusion a warm plum sauce foot massage, paired with free prawn crackers is exceptional service and a serious win win situation in my book. 5 stars, My new favorite.

After a massive bender that lasted the better part of July, I awoke behind the red ruby Chinese restaurant stark naked and smelling vaguely of sweet and sour pork. After I had regained some use of my higher mental functions and realised I was not infact processed and cooked pig meat covered in a tasty sauce, I found I was quite famished. Stumbling in to the restaurant covered in a cardboard box I had fashioned into a lovely 2 piece women's pant-suit, I devoured a delicious meal that filled the cavourness black-hole that was now my stomach after the aforementioned bender which had left my stomach surviving on nothing but mouthwash, stale beer and stubbie holders for the last few weeks. The meal was life changing and the free prawn crackers were good too. Will be back next month whenever i regain conciousness

My family and I have been frequenting here ever since my son was born in 1989. sadly when my wife Martha passed away in a horrible helicopter accident on a ski trip, it broke Mikey's heart. but red Ruby Chinese Takeaway was there to get us through such hard times. An excellent hidden gem with great food and good service, plus the lady threw in prawn chips, fantastic.